We're not entirely sure if Jon Lovitz is kidding or not.
But the Daily Caller captured him ranting–rather entertainingly–about President Obama during an interview with filmmaker Kevin Smith. Lovitz is a registered Democrat and claims to have voted for him in 2008.
"First they say … ‘You can do anything you want. Go for it.’ So then you go for it, and then you make it, and everyone’s like, ‘Fuck you,’” says Lovitz, referring to high taxes on high-income earners.
Listen for yourself:
In what seems like a cruel but kind of hilarious joke, Steve Carell has tweeted a violent end to Michael Scott, his iconic "boss" character from "The Office."
Carell seems to be making a reference to M*A*S*H here, but who would believe that anyone would let a man who has so much trouble with diversity leave the United States? And what happened with the love of Michael Scott's life Holly (Amy Ryan)?
If Carell is being serious (well, as serious as one can be about a situation as ridiculous as this), the actor/comedian has effectively silenced those pesky and persistent rumors about his possible return to "The Office" for good.
Considering how lacking in quality most of the episodes have been this past season, we don't blame Carell for not wanting to come back. But we're just sad that we officially will never again see Michael Scott's best characters: Agent Michael Scarn, Prison Mike, Ping, Michael Klump and so many more.
Iconic Rolling Stones rocker Mick Jagger has been awarded the hosting duties of "Saturday Night Live" for the first time ever.
Jagger will be hosting the season finale of the sketch comedy show on May 19th, two weeks from tomorrow when New York Giants QB Eli Manning will fill the host role for his first time as well.
The legendary singer has appeared on SNL quite a bit, most famously he performed a sketch in 2001 where he spoke to himself in the mirror with Jimmy Fallon playing his reflection.
Originally, it was rumored that official Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney would be hosting the 'SNL' season finale, but Romney said he was too busy with his primary schedule and would try to appear on the show when it returns in September. Well if President Obama can slow jam the news, why can't Romney make fun of it in September, right?
It looks like this is the perfect opportunity for Jagger to take the SNL stage as 2012 marks the 50-year anniversary of The Rolling Stones, but the group still hasn't announced any big plans to celebrate the achievement.
Does that mean Keith Richards might show up? Will Maroon 5's Adam Levine parody some of those "Moves Like Jagger"? Or does Fallon alone have the privileges to poke fun at the famous singer?
We all know about bankers' affinity for spreadsheets—they use them at work, they use them to evaluate potential dates, etc etc.
But we were pretty amused when we received this spreadsheet that analyzes a banker's life—by putting in a few simple numbers, the sheet calculates exactly how much you are getting paid (read: screwed) per hour, how many of those seconds you have left on the job, and whether or not you'd be better off working at McKinsey or McDonald's.
The file has apparently been passed around analysts circles, and since we personally enjoyed playing with it, we wanted to share it. (You can download it here)
Here's how the spreadsheet works in two easy steps:
First, put in the start date of your job. Don't forget to select if you're a first or second year analyst.
Second, scroll down to the bottom of the spreadsheet and input your base salary and bonus for the year.
The sheet then outputs graphs showing how much you've completed your job. There's also a nifty function called "The Day Finder and the Booze Planner" that lets you know if it's a good day to start drinking. At the bottom of the sheet, "Hourly Wages" commentates on just how terrible your hourly wages are.
Want to play? You can download it here >
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Uh-oh. Seems like every decision by Saturday Night Live is going to be examined for political bias this year.
The Daily Caller is reporting (and the Drudge Report is promoting) a story that Saturday Night Live shelved an opening skit which made fun of president Obama for taking so much credit for killing Bin Laden. They replaced it with on about clueless Fox News hosts looking like partisan shills.
The original send-up of Obama was written by, Jim Downey. (The Caller has the script) In it, Obama talked about "Killing Bin Laden Day" as if it were a national holiday. He literally can't stop talking about it. "Now tonight I want to talk about the economy. But first, a little more about the killing of Osama Bin Laden," is a representative joke.
The Caller says it is unclear why the sketch was cut. Skits are cut all the time because they aren't funny, or they don't test well in rehearsals, or to adjust the workload of the cast members on a given show. But it could have been a political decision. We just don't know.
It is not a surprise that SNL is getting scrutinized so much.
Four years ago Saturday Night Live had a huge impact on the election with Tina Fey returning to the show to lampoon Sarah Palin. Those segments, replayed constantly on cable news and passed around online, helped to solidify the image of her as an unprepared winking bumpkin from the hinterlands.
Here is the skit that did air:
We all know about the infamous ashes prank Sacha Baron Cohen pulled on poor, unsuspecting Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars. But "The Dictator" actor has crafted more elaborate pranks on Washington officials and audiences everywhere.
Amidst upcoming elections and usual political tensions, Baron Cohen is bringing some much needed humor to the governmental proceedings. Check out some of the insane jokes he's pulling as General Aladeen from Wadiya:
1. Admiral General Aladeen backs Mitt Romney as the next President of the United States:
At a spoof press conference, Baron Cohen as Aladeen said this about Romney:
"If it was money I was giving, I would support and give my full support to Mitchell Romney. He has the makings of a great dictator! He is incredibly wealthy, but pays no taxes. It's not much of a leap from firing people to firing squads, from putting pets on top of cars to putting political dissidents on top of cars."
2. “President Robert Mugabe and the Ministry of Education, Sport, Art, and Culture invite you to the Premiere of The Dictator.”
Invitations with this sentence were sent to officials all over Washington. When The Washington Post called the Zimbabwe embassy, the spokesperson said, "We know nothing of this event." Let's see how much trouble Baron Cohen is going to get into with that one.
3. The spoof press conference at New York City's Waldorf-Astoria:
At the event, Aladeen's crazy comments included: “I love the TV show ‘24,’ you have it here, but we play it backwards so it has a happy ending.” And to the journalists writing about "The Dictator," “As long as you write good reviews, your families will be released.”
You know you want to watch the whole thing.
PBS has finally aired last month's White House tribute concert for Burt Bacharach, and it is clear that Austin Powers star Mike Myers stole the show.
Myers rendition of "What's New Pussycat?" is both totally bizarre and kind of awesome. Obviously, it ends with him stripping down to a powder-blue bodysuit right in front of the First Lady.
Watch the video below.
(h/t Politico)
It's getting harder to find a TV network that doesn't have a show featuring an Indian character.
Actors Mindy Kaling, Kal Penn, and Freida Pinto, producer Ashok Amritraj and director Tarsem Singh prove that South Asians are no longer token diversity hires—they're the people who control Hollywood both in front of and behind the camera.
The Indian actor has created one of the most hilarious and memorable characters on television right now: Tom Haverford on NBC's "Parks and Recreation."
Ansari has also had bit roles in movies like "Get Him to the Greek" and "Funny People." But now he's getting a lead role in the buddy-robbery comedy "30 Minutes or Less" with Jesse Eisenberg.
Ansari also has a successful stand-up special, "Dangerously Delicious," on his website, which only costs $5 to download.
If you've ever watched a movie from Hyde Park Entertainment, then you know Ashok Amritraj's work.
Since the mid 1980s, Amritraj has produced more than 100 films, from "Ghost Rider" to "Bringing Down the House," to "The Boondock Saints."
Amritraj also sat on the board of the Motion Picture and Television Fund as well as managing National Geographic Films.
During his over 20-year Bollywood career, Irrfan Khan has made quite a few trips to Hollywood.
Irrfan started his American movie career with "A Mighty Heart," "The Darjeeling Limited" and "The Namesake." The latter garnered Irrfan an Independent Spirit Award for Best Supporting Actor.
Then 2008 brought "Slumdog Millionaire." The Danny Boyle film won Best Picture at the Oscars and led to a guest-starring role on the HBO show "In Treatment." His upcoming movie projects include "The Amazing Spider-Man" in July and Ang Lee's adaptation of "Life of Pi" in December.
Jim Parsons, aka the lovable and completely ridiculous Sheldon Cooper on CBS' hit show "The Big Bang Theory," has officially come out of the closet.
During a feature profile with The New York Times, the actor spoke about his last staged production, the Broadway revival of the critically acclaimed play "The Normal Heart," where he played a gay activist.
Parsons talked about how the role resonated with him because of his sexual orientation and because he has been in a relationship for 10 years. He is also set to reprise his role in the play for the new film adaptation directed by "Glee" creator Ryan Murphy.
Parsons is on Broadway in the revival of the comedic play "Harvey" which is currently in previews and will open officially on June 14th at the Studio 54 Theatre.
Canned laughter is a staple of TV sitcoms from Bewitched to Cheers.
But comedians have used fake laughter since the days of Shakespeare, according to a television historian.
The historian, Ben Glenn II, was interviewed by Mike Sacks for his book "And Here's the Kicker...Conversations With Top Humor Writers About Their Craft." Here's what he had to say about the origins of fake laughter:
"The concept actually goes back at least five hundred years. History tells us that there were audience “plants” in the crowds at Shakespearean performances in the 16th century. They spurred on audience reactions, including laughter and cheering—as well as jeers."
Glenn also talks about the canned laughter box, invented by a man named Charles Rolland Douglass. He charged producers $100 a day for use of his machine. Douglass' associates were sworn to secrecy and won't speak publicly about his methods more than 50 years later.
Read the full interview here.
When New York-based comedian Mark Malkoff comes up with his wacky personal challenges, he's nothing if not committed.
Malkoff's wife, Christine, visited him while he famously occupied an IKEA store for a week in 2009, and the couple spent their one-year anniversary dining on the wing of airplane he'd been sleeping in for a month.
He's recently been at it again, this time challenging himself to see just how many films he could squeeze out of his $7.99 unlimited Netflix streaming plan in 30 days.
Between April 16 and May 15, he barely budged from his Queens, N.Y. apartment. When he took walks around his neighborhood for exercise, his wife made sure he didn't veer into traffic while browsing flicks on in his iPhone.
"A lot of people were like, oh my God, I envy you so much, and then they would think about it and say I would not want to do what you're doing," he told BI in a phone interview. "The first week, I didn't leave my apartment for 155 straight hours."
Most of the films (see a full list here) were suggested by more than 500 social media followers, but he came up with special theme days (Sports, Sci-Fi, and "things I'd never usually watch") to keep things interesting.
When all was said and done, Malkoff clocked 404.25 hours and watched 252 films for an impressive $0.03 a pop. He also packed on about six extra pounds, most of which he blamed on the coffee and cookies he ate to stay awake.
"It was really a race the last week," he admitted. "I had to watch over 100 hours. The final day, I watched 17 straight hours of movies."
There were some celebrity cameos, too. Andrew McCarthy joined him for a smartphone screening of "St. Elmo's Fire" in Central Park ("He pulled me around in a wagon and it tipped over"), and "Dazed and Confused" actor Jack London actually made a house call.
Malkoff was so committed to his task, he re-watched four films after realizing he hadn't processed what he'd seen.
"After about seven or eight straight hours, everything basically became like white nose," he said.
Now that Malkoff's completed his feat, he said he's pretty much convinced streaming is the way to go for bargain-hunters.
“Good thing there's unlimited Netflix streaming,” he said. “Otherwise I would have had to subscribe to the 252 disc-at-a-time plan.”
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Jimmy Fallon has come a long way since growing up in a 1,780-square-foot house in Saugerties, New York.
The comedian-turned-late night host originally helmed his funny bone in this two-story, single family home built in 1950. Today, the property boasts an additional, separate small cottage. And it can all be yours for just $210,000.
Even Fallon himself wants the house to be sold--to the right people.
Fallon tweeted: "Please someone cool buy it! Great place to grow up."
Andy Samberg is heading back to television … but not on the network you'd imagine.
BBC Three has announced Samberg's first TV project since leaving "Saturday Night Live" just last week.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, a six-part comedy series called "Cuckoo" will see Samberg opposite the nearly 7 ft. Welsh comedian Greg Davies ("The Inbetweeners").
For those of you who are unfamiliar, BBC Three is the BBC channel aimed at the 16-34 demographic.
BBC Three delivered the following show description:
When Ken (Greg Davies) and Lorna (Helen Baxendale) collect their daughter (Tamla Kari) from the airport, they're horrified to learn that she's returned from her gap year with more than just a henna tattoo and braids in her hair. At the arrival gate, she promptly introduces them to her new husband, Cuckoo (Andy Samberg) - the squared-jawed, self-appointed spiritual ninja who is now their son-in-law.
So, Samberg's name is Cuckoo. Right.
Is Britain ready for a dose of Samberg's American comedy?
"Cuckoo" will film this summer and is set to air later this year. So far, there's no word on whether the show will air in the U.S.
Paul Krugman has a new campaign slogan for Obama: "It's not as bad as the Great Depression."
Or at least that's what the Nobel Prize-winning economist told Steven Colbert during his appearance on the The Colbert Report this Monday.
While keeping up with Colbert's antics (surprisingly well we may add), Krugman managed to get in a word or two about his new book, "End This Depression Now." Turns out his solution to 'ending this depression now' is actually pretty simple:
"The solution, ending this depression right now, could be quite easy. If we could just rehire those teachers, firefighters and police officers who had been laid off in the last several years, layed off because of budget cuts, because congress won't allow aid to stay in local governments, we'd be a long way towards getting out of this, we'd have an unemployment rate below seven percent, this wouldn't feel at all like it does now."
Then there's the one percent, of which Krugman and Colbert are both a part. How to get in there? "A lot of it is just plain luck," Krugman explains.
After doing a "secret one percent handshake," conversation moved to Europe. And if you read Krugman, you probably can guess what he said:
"Europe is in big trouble. They made a terrible mistake which is one currency without one government and they've compounded that by using a lot of the wrong policies."
Oh, and apparently Krugman doesn't really know where his Nobel prize is.
Check it all out right here:
The Colbert Report
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In this week's trailers, Snow White leaves Thor to return to Edward Cullen, Keira Knightley takes another stab at Oscar gold and Pixar shows us what college life is like for monsters.
Plus, three R-rated comedies duke it out for summer dominance, "Batman" and "Spider-Man" show off some new footage, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman reminds the world why he's one of the best actors in the business.
Also, take a look at some of this fall's high-profile action movies, and, if you're brave enough, the next Adam Sandler/Andy Samberg film.
After scouring the internet to confirm our suspicions, we unfortunately found out that the antagonist of "Taken 2" is not the guy from the Dos Equis commercials. But the damage is already done. As far as we're concerned, it's Liam Neeson v. The Most Interesting Man in the World. Game on! Oh, you want to know the plot of the movie? His family gets taken (see what we did there?) in a foreign country... again. It also feels like we got cheated out on some great sequel names here: "Takener." "Taken 2: Taken Harder." "Taken 2: Electric Boogaloo ."
Futuristic drug busts. Half a movie's worth of slow-mo shots. Karl Urban doing his best "Christian Bale Batman voice" impression. That's all you need to know about "Dredd."
Well we know it's going to do better than Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg's first team-up, "That's My Boy." With an interesting voice cast, including Fran Drescher and Selena Gomez, this could have the same late-September critical/commercial success of fellow Sony Pictures Animation release "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs." Or it could be another Sandler misfire, this one of the "Eight Crazy Nights" variety.
In a soon-to-be published memoir, Jimmie "J.J." Walker of the 70s sitcom "Good Times," devotes an entire chapter to his relationship with Jay Leno and what he says will not have the late night host laughing.
Walker, famous for his "Dyn-o-mite!" catchphrase, hired both Leno and David Letterman as writers for his sitcom in the 70s and claims that once Leno became famous, he turned his back on all of the comedians who had previously helped him out, reports Sean Daly of the New York Post.
“Because of Jay Leno, we have changed and segregated comedy,” Walker tells The Post. “In his however many years on the air, he has not broken one comic.”
Walker says that Crantz helped Leno make it big, but that Leno snubbed Crantz when he was writing for "The Tonight Show" and did not use any of his jokes.
Jay eventually fired Crantz, who died three years later—a death Walker blames on Jay. Walker says he "saw it as a suicide" and that "You knew what this was about."
As we reported in May, Jay has certainly been getting a lot of bad press lately.
“I really don’t care what I do!” I say with the kind of disdain that only a 22-year-old stuffed from too many unlimited salad and breadsticks from the Olive Garden that her parents just bought her, can say. “It’s just a job to pay the bills till I can support myself doing what I love!”
I’m home for winter break, and my parents just asked me if I’d given any thought to what kind of job I’d like to get when I graduate in a few months. My BFA in drama taught me many things: comedia dell’arte circus skills, basic fencing, and how to naturally speak in iambic pentameter. Unfortunately none of these are actual job skills people look for. Besides, as you and your friends say with all the weariness of a person who’s never seen the inside of a free clinic, “I just could never work behind a desk all the day!”
The irony is that unless you’re a bike messenger, waitress, or babysitter, you will definitely end up behind a desk all day, and doing grunt work for people who do things like tuck their button down shirts into jeans and says things like “oh bummer” as they check their Blackberry when being told someone’s grandmother just died.
I’ve always felt grateful for having a job and being able to support myself, but I’ve realized along the way that these just for now jobs tend to affect you more than you realize they will. In honor of all the people graduating now who didn’t choose the most linear paths to career success, but who still believe in themselves, here are some of my crappiest day jobs.
1. The Box
I had just moved to New York, and was searching Craigslist for waitressing jobs when I found it. It was to be a “Cigarette Girl” at this new bar called The Box. The only other time I‘d ever heard the term “cigarette girl” was on an episode of The Flintstones; in a flashback episode where Wilma and Betty were working as cigarette girls the night they met Fred and Barney. Encouraged by how well it worked for them, I sent in my resume and got an interview!
I wore my best business casual, brought the standard copies of my resume and showed up at The Box. I sat down with the manager and explained that while I wasn’t a smoker myself, I was very familiar with the different brands and would research them in case the customers had any questions, and that my experience with salesmanship was limited to girl scout cookies, but I was a fast learner.
She looked completely confused, then explained “Oh no. You wouldn’t be selling actual cigarettes. A cigarette girl is just a term for someone who sells things table to table at bars.”
Oh no. I’m interviewing to be that old lady who walks into restaurants trying to sell flowers or glow-in-the-dark bracelets?
“The job is selling high-end sex toys table to table.”
She took out a velvet lined briefcase like a villain from an ‘80s movie and showed me a silver plated vibrator and silk restraints, should people suddenly be in the mood for aggressive love-making during the show. She went in another room and then showed me the uniform that was required. And by uniform, I mean something a Prohibition-era sex worker would wear.
“So, the job would be… selling sex toys table to table while wearing lingerie?”
Somewhere in the Midwest, my Dad felt an unexplainable pain in his heart at that very moment. I didn’t take that job. Even I had my limits.
2. Staffing Firm
I’m somehow working in sales at a staffing firm downtown, where I had originally interviewed to be a temp. My job consists of being on the phone all day trying to sell, and wearing a mandatory pin to client meetings that says “I Love My Job!”
One day I’m sitting at my desk writing out holiday cards for my prospective clients, when the owner of the company, who’s in her sixties, and dressed meticulously with the most perfect hair I’ve ever seen, walks up to me.
“Do you feel like you have good handwriting, Michelle?”
“I do… yes. I think my handwriting is definitely…legible.” (The last time anyone questioned my handwriting, I was wearing a Rainbow Bright T-shirt because it was the late ‘80s. And in fairness, cursive uppercase Q’s are not easy.)
“Ok… just checking. I figured you may not have the same perfect handwriting your colleague has, since I know you didn’t go to Catholic school, where the nuns are very precise about meticulous handwriting.” (Between this and her comment yesterday—”Oh Michelle, this Bernie Madoff business is so awful. How is your… community taking it?”—I am thinking she might not be the biggest Seinfeld fan, if you catch my drift.)
“Michelle, I remember when I first came back from maternity leave in the seventies, I was exhausted all the time, and a colleague pulled me aside and told me I looked tired.”
She looked at me pointedly. (Is she implying I remind her of someone going through post-partum depression?)
“When you leave your apartment in the morning, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘Do I look like an adult woman going to work?’”
I looked down at myself, and said weakly “Are you saying you don’t like my outfit?”
She was.
“Umm, ok. I’m sorry you feel that way, I thought this was nice…”
I needed to defend myself and show her that I’m a professional woman not to be trifled with.
“My outfit today is actually from …The Gap.”
In that moment, I learned something crucial, in life and in business: Namedropping The Gap will never get you anywhere; no one respects The Gap.
3. Personal Assistant
Tip for any young men or women: If you see a job on Craigslist that asks you to send along a photo of yourself along with your resume, prepare for this to be the worst job you’ve ever had. Do you know who has to send in photos with their resumes? Hookers, girls who live with men for free rent in exchange for being forced to walk around nude, and people who see postings for “Actors wanted for personal assistant work! Make $$$ while pursuing your dreams!”
Louis C.K. is once again proving he's in his fans' corner when it comes to ticket sales.
Rather than using a traditional ticketing agency like TicketMaster, the comedian is peddling tickets to his Fall/Winter comedy tour directly from his website. They'll cost a flat $45––tax included and minus the usual host of service fees tacked on by third-party sellers.
In a blog post, C.K. explained why he's decided to rally for fans:
"Making my shows affordable has always been my goal but two things have always worked against that. High ticket charges and ticket re-sellers marking up the prices. Some ticketing services charge more than 40% over the ticket price and, ironically, the lower I've made my ticket prices, the more scalpers have bought them up, so the more fans have paid for a lot of my tickets. By selling the tickets exclusively on my site, I've cut the ticket charges way down and absorbed them into the ticket price."
To purchase tickets, fans just use their credit card and "buy the damn thing," C.K. says. There are some pretty tight rules buyers have to agree to, including C.K.'s right to cancel their ticket if they're caught trying to resell it at a marked up price.
For his part, C.K. says he's had to perform fewer shows as some larger venues won't agree to his ticketing system. His bottom line will suffer as well, as tickets are "less than anyone has actually paid to see me (after ticket charges) in about two years and in most cases it's about half of what you paid last year," he says.
This isn't his first time C.K.'s cut out the middle man when it comes to selling his content. Earlier this year, be made his Live at the Beacon Theatre show available for download on his site for just five bucks.
He reeled in $1 million in profit and divvied it up between his staff ($250K), charity ($280K) and his production team ($250K). It wasn't long before contemporaries followed, including "Parks and Recreation" funny man Aziz Ansari, who let fans stream his concert tour for $5 on his website.
Read Louis C.K.'s full post here.
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Ricky Gervais, Alec Baldwin, Larry David—these are just a few of Jerry Seinfeld's funny friends he talked into getting in a car with him for his new TV show, "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee."
The show, which is essentially just about Seinfeld driving around in fancy cars with his Hollywood pals, premieres on Crackle.com later this month.
Watch the promo below.
Is this the Seinfeld comeback we've all been waiting for?
Comedian Richard Belzer